Infrastructure and EUC specialist, techie, geeky comic nerd etc. Odd sense of humour. Belief system of how the world works based on Spaceballs 😉

Now working in the analytics space for server/desktop and VDI infrastructure.

Previously I specialised in Infrastructure/EUC, then moved into Primary Care projects for the NHS (Not emmployed by the NHS though!) I architect it, sell it, implement it (using mainly Vmware vSphere et al/Windows/Appsense), provide support for it and build the base/gold image, with applications, Imprivata, Isosec etc) and provision using Horizon View. I also sing the theme tune.

Hate networking and don’t touch Citrix! I also hate printers. And unreliable Hardware Storage. Oh and awkward certificates!

Sadly, the NHS is full of USB printers that people absolutely need at least 2 per person of, legacy clinical devices, legacy clinical apps, PSTs everywhere and legacy/archaic data that would make your Data Protection/IG person weep throughout the night…You get the picture!

“You’re dead, sir.”,

“No I’m not I’m right here! I’m talking! Breathing!”,

“No, this legacy ABPM says you died…Last week…Oh wait that’s not right…yesterday…You died yesterday… I asked the IT guy and he said the only possible answer to these readings must be that you’re dead…Or it’ll cost £2000 for a new one, with this ground breaking, new fangled thing called ‘USB’ on it…

On the plus side, I have managed and developed further with colleagues, to manipulate some of these applications to work within VDI, as well as made some good relationships with Vendors to get there.

I worked on solutions for EMIS Web, SystmOne, INPS Vision, Docman, MSDi, Bluebay and more.

Within Healthcare, a huge part of getting it right, compared to other sectors, are the apps and hardware and some of these Vendors have been amazingly helpful, whereas others have no interest in getting any of this to work on modern OSs or application delivery methods – which is a shame, but the way it is.

I also saw this within the Police, but where I worked still had XP, so W7 made their day enough! Aside from some lady who managed the Speeding Tickets department (Ptoo!) who couldn’t understand why her ancient metal box with a fraying VGA cable wouldn’t pipe her display from her laptop to her ancient metal projector and a 10 year old effort at being a smart display board at the same time. “I’m just a contractor! Don’t kill me! Please!”

I should add that all my opinions and anything I come out are all because of my own mouth and nothing to do with anyone I’ve ever worked with, or for. Apart from the ones who made me do it. And I’m more professional in real life (Sometimes). I also have a great team that I work with, who could probably drag Primary care kicking and screaming into the future…

Worked within IT across most sectors doing Infrastructure/EUC/Mobility, software, hardware blah blah it’s all on my linkedin:

Me on Linkedin

Police – Interesting and scary from an IT perspective. What’s that high pitched alarm? The server room is massively overheating? For weeks? It happens regularly? It’s in a cupboard next to the FIREARMS UNIT WHERE ALL THE AMMO AND EXPLOSIVES ARE!?!?!!?!

Local Government – Oh God, how do I unpick this multi AD forest with even more Domains and 46 different Citrix implementations?!

Central Government – You have a server room in the toilets…That flood…

Charity – You got how much from your well publicised and well funded campaign? And you want to spend it on IT refurbishment and not research? And you still want it all for free?!

NHS – I can’t get this working. I don’t want it anymore. Patching? What patching (groan from the audience)

Corporate – We want to spend a s**t load of money on this! VS – My boss won’t let me spend more than £3.50 on a mouse. Or Joe Sales needs a Jag to see a customer VS Joe Sales NEEDS his 200GB of historical email that defies Data Protection! Storage is cheap!

Airports – Hey, look at all those Windows XP machines running everything!

Finance – Hey, it’s pen testing time again. You look really secure and we can’t get in. Can you open some ports on the firewall so we can get past that and test further. Or, Vmware view? No. Never touching that. Ever. It’s windows based. (Actually that’s probably fair to say sometimes)

Church of England – Hullo IT Support! My printer broke! Ok, we don’t support that, you’ll need to ring your hardware provider. No no, you ring them. No, you ring them! No! YOU RING THEM!

Small Business – You did that for free last week, why won’t you do it anymore! I can’t afford to pay that, I’m going to my account manager! They said it’ll cost 10k, but then said you’ll do it for 4k. Chop chop!

Large Enterprise – Yeah, thanks for all that work. Just to say, someone has completely re-installed and re-configured what you did. I’m not sure who did it, but can you fix it now please.