Infrastructure and EUC specialist, techie, geeky comic nerd etc. Odd sense of humour. Belief system of how the world works based on Spaceballs ūüėČ

I should add that all my opinions and anything I come out are all because of my own mouth and nothing to do with anyone I’ve ever worked with, or for. Apart from the ones who made me do it. And I’m more professional in real life. Also, I’m probably working with the best people right now, than I’ve ever worked with in my career.

Oh, I also hate printers. And unreliable Hardware Storage. Oh and awkward certificates!

Worked within IT across most sectors doing infrastructure/EUC/Mobility, software, hardware blah blah it’s all on my linkedin:

Me on Linkedin

Police – Interesting and scary from an IT perspective. What’s that high pitched alarm? The server room is massively overheating? For weeks? It happens regularly? It’s in a cupboard next to the FIREARMS UNIT WHERE ALL THE AMMO AND EXPLOSIVES ARE!?!?!!?!

Local Government РOh God, how do I unpick this?!

Central Government РYou have a server room in the toilets?!

Charity – You got how much from your well publicised and well funded campaign? And you want to spend it on IT refurbishment and not research? And you still want it all for free?!

NHS¬†– I can’t get this working. I don’t want it anymore. Patching? What patching (groan from the audience)

Corporate¬†– We want to spend a s**t load of money on this! VS – My boss won’t let me spend more than ¬£3.50 on a mouse. Or Joe Sales needs a Jag to see a customer VS Joe Sales NEEDS his 200GB of historical email that defies Data Protection! Storage is cheap!

Airports РHey, look at all those Windows XP machines running everything!

Finance –¬†Hey, it’s pen testing time again. You look really secure and we can’t get in. Can you open some ports on the firewall so we can get past that and test further. Or, Vmware view? No. Never touching that. Ever. It’s windows based. (Actually that’s probably fair to say sometimes)

Church of England¬†– Hullo IT Support! My printer broke! Ok, we don’t support that, you’ll need to ring your hardware provider. No no, you ring them. No, you ring them! No! YOU RING THEM!

Small Business¬†– You did that for free last week, why won’t you do it anymore! I can’t afford to pay that, I’m going to my account manager! They said it’ll cost 10k, but then said you’ll do it for 4k. Chop chop!

Large Enterprise¬†– Yeah, thanks for all that work. Just to say, someone has completely re-installed and re-configured what you did. I’m not sure who did it, but can you fix it now please.

The design will probably change massively on my blog until I’m happy with it!